Peril of Blind Parenting

As you know I'm a 4th grade teacher.  I assume that gives me a unique perspective on the behaviors of children.  I have seen many different personalities, actions, and reactions.  The most prevalent experience that I have had as a teacher is the blindness of some parents to their child's behavior.  In most cases that blindness causes parents to take the actions of their children as a personal reflection of themselves and then because it has become personal they want to blame anyone or anything else.

As a mom I can see how it is easy to turn a blind eye to our children behaviors.  What I don't see can't hurt me, right?  No....Absolutely not true.  Not dealing with and correcting our child's behavior can be detrimental to our well-being and our child's well-being.  Here are some ways that our lives as parents and our child's growth can be affected:

1. Your child doesn't develop a sense of right and wrong.  

2. Your friends, family, and community will talk about the behaviors of your child.

3.  Your child doesn't develop healthy friendships.

4. You defend your child endlessly and even wrongly.

5.  Your friendships suffer because your friends can't be honest about your child's behavior.

6.  Ultimately your child suffers from believing they are right all the time.

7.  Your marriage and significant relationships fall apart usually because of your defensiveness.

You should defend your child, but only when they need defending.  If your child is in the wrong - they are wrong- end of story.  You must let them know they are wrong.  You must teach them how not to make the same mistake again.  Don't blame yourself - your child did it, not you.  Know that your child's actions are not about you - they will make mistakes.  Growing up is messy - if we don't make mistakes we don't learn, we don't grow, we become stagnant as human beings and ultimately diseased in our relationships with others.  Most of all acknowledge to yourself, to your child, and to others that no one is perfect, including your children.